Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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