You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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