We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
