I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
