Me too!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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