At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
