try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
