Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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