He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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