IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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