I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
