Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize