Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
