I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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