thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
