I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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