So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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