I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
