I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
