Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
