chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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