it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
3 2 1 whiskey
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am available for nakedness
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
