It's like a parade of train wrecks.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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