you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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