You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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