Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
