quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are a booty call, not a friend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
