I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
