either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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