Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
