me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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