just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
