He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
