I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
