My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
bring money and cleavage
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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