he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
