Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
