im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You're like the curious george of whores
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
