last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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