I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
