Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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