it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
