I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
