Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
