Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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