you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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