38 yer olds are good kisserssss
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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