I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
