the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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