Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
