He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
